There is always this one friend that I talk to that puts things into perspective for me. Out of everyone that I speak to, no one has helped me get passed my feelings better than her. I'm kind of thankful that we were able to reconnect.
What happened really isn't my fault. She fucked up. She didn't value our relationship as she should have. I'm just clinging to the pain because I'm too scared to move on. I am scared. I'm scared to get out there and be hurt again. I think I just want her to want me back, but not necessarily that I want her.
I feel like throughout this whole ordeal, I had no control in what was happening and I wanted to end things on my own terms and I just feel so pathetic for not breaking it off earlier, when she had treated me so badly. I let her continue to put me through this roller coaster.
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