The internal fight

It is an internal battle with me everyday. I fight my urges and my defiance to the socially accepted aspects in life. I find myself constantly running in circles. I have no purpose. The only purposed\ programmed in my brain is reproduction, which is what all livings are created to do. I find those hormones constantly surging through my body and cutting me deep within my humanity. I find it hard to focus on any tasks that I am trying to achieve because I am focused on one thing. As many men embrace that primitive characteristic of the male, I find it to be a curse. I feel as though I have no power over my urges. My interests are limited, which could be partially due to the fact that my childhood was spent mostly watching nickalodeon and disney channel. Nevertheless, I feel trapped in a constant invulnerable state of sexual frustration. School work remains minimal for me, as time trickles by with every speck of dust and every drop of water. Things are not as they should be. My intelligence escapes me and my health diminishes. I am 20 years old and I feel as though I am already going through a mid-life crisis.