Moving on

I don't understand why it's so hard for me to move on. For 6 months, it's been a constant battle with myself. One side is angry and hurt beyond imaginable.. the feeling of betrayal seeps in every time. Feelings of inferiority fill my soul and a sense of misery always arises. Another side of me still loves her.. and whats to make sense of the matter and defend her and the guilt of not being able to be strong and be there for her. I don't know whether I was taken advantage of and was taken for a fool or if in fact she really was struggling with loneliness. All I feel now is loneliness. Not many people enjoy my company because of the negativity I bring. I try to be happy but all I feel is still pain and just inferiority. As much as I workout, read, and try to improve myself.. I still feel as thought I'm not good enough. I see major progress in my body and I push through the fact that I have been re-pulling my tendons everyday to continue this progress. But I'm still not completely happy with my outcome. I pick at my imperfections constantly. My social awkwardness is heightened by my awareness of such facts.