Crumbling

My life is falling apart right in front my eyes. Something that has been pestering me inside has affected my physically, mentally, and emotionally state. It has caused me to lose my job, my friends, and my life in general. It is evident to my friends and to coworkers. I don't know who to tell the truth to. I am feeling like i've been drifting so far away from myself. Nobody bothers to care or has given up on me already. I'm sorry, I can't be normal. Do I still love her? Why? Why do I feel like this? I don't want to have these feelings. I want her to be happy, but what is going on. I don't understand. This is ruining my life and I have no control over it.